Getting Married in 1929 - Advice from the Tit-Bits Yearbook

With vintage news again going through one of its periodical dry patches, I thought I'd turn again to my copy of The 1929 Tit-Bits Yearbook for blog post material.

Staying broadly with the etiquette theme that featured in my first excerpt we move to the section entitled "Getting Married".  Very little seems to have changed overall in the intervening 83 years, as we head straight for:

THE WEDDING

What to Wear at a Wedding

The Bride needs no guidance; fashion, custom, and her friends will tell her what is suitable and what is not.  For the Bridegroom a morning-coat and waistcoat, neatly striped trousers, patent leather shoes, white spats and a silk hat are the correct thing, but he is allowed a great deal of latitude, and a bowler often takes the place of the silk hat, and white spats are dispensed with, as are the patent leather shoes and tail coat.

Either a "wing" or double collar may be worn, but, with the former, the bow, which should be of a neat pattern, must be hand-tied.  Bright colours are taboo, but a small white flower may be worn in the buttonhole, and grey suede glove carried.  Coloured silk handkerchiefs are considered out of place; white silk or linen are correct.

The "best man" should follow the bridegroom's lead in the matter of clothes.  Remember that suitability is more important than what is or is not absolutely the correct thing, and that it is better to be married in a quiet lounge suit in which you feel comfortable and look neatly dressed, then to attire yourself in clothes in which you feel, and therefore no doubt look, ridiculous.

At the Church

The bridegroom should arrive, accompanied by his "best man", a quarter of an hour before the ceremony is timed to begin.  The bride, escorted by her father, whose right arm she takes, and accompanied by her bridesmaids, should arrive at the exact time appointed.

The groom stands on the right of the chancel steps, his "best man" a little in the rear on the right.  The bride stands on the left of the chancel, her father on her left hand and a little to the rear, and with her chief bridesmaid a pace or two behind her.  The bridesmaids should arrange themselves near to, and a little behind, the chief bridesmaid.

After the ceremony the register is signed in the vestry, and the bride's parents, best man, and chief bridesmaid, accompany the happy couple to see this little ceremony performed.

After the register has been signed, and congratulations given, the party leaves the church, the bride and bridegroom riding in the first carriage, the bride sitting on the groom's left.  The bride's father and mother ride in the carriage immediately following; the bridesmaids in the next carriages, and the guests are then allocated seats in the remaining vehicles, under the "best man's" directions.

At the Reception

If there is a reception after the ceremony, the newly-married couple remain near the entrance to welcome the guests - who need not, by the way, necessarily have been invited to the church - and to receive congratulations.

Afterwards, they take the place of honour at the top of the table, the bride on her husband's left, her father on her left, and her mother on the groom's right.

What to Say

The health of the bride and bridegroom is proposed by one of the oldest friends of the bride's family.  His speech might be on the following lines:

"Ladies and gentlemen, - It falls to my happy lot heartily to congratulate our newly-married friends, Mr. and Mrs. Blank, and to wish them, on behalf of you all, a very pleasant and successful time during the voyage on which they have just embarked.  The high seas of matrimony are still uncharted for them, and troublesome waters, as many of us may know, are sometimes encountered.  Let us hope and wish that our friends' ship may sail true, however stormy the weather around them.

Soon we shall be giving a hearty send off to the happy pair; first allow me to express the good wishes which we all endorse.  We wish you every happiness, and we hope, when they come round, your silver and golden weddings will find you with health and prosperity abiding with you, and still surrounded by all the staunch and loving friends gathered here to-day.

I propose the toast of "The Bride and Bridegroom."  May the always be as happy as they are to-day, and may good fortune attend them." 

The bridegroom's reply might take the following form:

"Ladies and gentlemen, - On behalf of my wife and myself, I want to thank you very much indeed for the kind and sincere wish which you have just bestowed upon us.  If I find it difficult to find words in which to express our appreciation, it is because I must thank you all doubly, not only for your good wishes, but for the delightful tokens of goodwill which you have given us.  Every one of these presents shall have an honoured place in our home, so that we may perpetually be reminded of their donors' happy smiles and good wishes.

My speech may be short, but my heart is very full.  You have made this day of days a wonderful one for us both, and, from deep down in our hearts, my wife and I thank you a thousand times."

It falls to the "best man's" lot to respond to the toast of "the bridesmaids", and his speech, smoothly couched in a light vein, might be as follows:

"Ladies and gentlemen, - I have performed a hundred and one tasks to-day, happy, agreeable tasks all of them.  Now comes yet another, although, perhaps, in all fairness, I cannot call it a task because it gives me so much pleasure to perform it.  Rather let me call upon all the men present to envy me my happy lot, for mine is the honour of responding to the toast of "The Bridesmaids."  The played their rôles to-day with consummate ease, as well they might, for they were cast for the part of looking beautiful, and right royally they played it: they were an overwhelming success.  But theirs is not the art that conceals artifice, they simply can't help looking beautiful.

Therefore, I count it an honour and a great privilege to be able to respond on their behalf.  They wish the bride and bridegroom every happiness - how could they be otherwise than happy? - and thank you warmly for your kind expression of thanks."

British Library scans 18th and 19th-Century newspapers

British Library scans 18th and 19th-Century newspapers

A bit of old news from last week here, about a lot of old news from 200 years ago. 

Some of you may have read that the British Library now has 4 million pages of newspapers from as far back as the 1700s online, with a further 8,000 pages being scanned every day.  A huge selection of historic British newspapers from all over the country are now available for searching on the Internet.  Of course there is a charge to actually view the papers, but the search function itself is free.  This will at least allow for a speedier discovery of articles of interest for, as the story makes clear, one can type in a search term and find the exact newspaper in which it appears in just a few minutes.  Then, if you're not a subscriber (or simply like to leaf through old newspapers), you have at any rate the reference number which you can use to go straight to the 'paper in question at the British Library.

This is good news in a number of ways, from the increased ease of access for people all over the world to the continued preservation of some ancient and in some cases fragile newspapers.  You can of course still read the hard copy at the British Library site, and I wouldn't blame you if you did.  Like so much history it is all the more evocative if you can hold it in your hands.  But this latest innovation does make it quicker to find first.

"Tit-Bits from all the interesting Books, Periodicals, and Newspapers of the World"; or, Eclectic Ephemera 1929-style!

I mentioned in a previous post that one of the most valued books in my library is a copy of the 1929 Tit-Bits Yearbook - a sort of annual almanac that was published by the Tit-bits periodical - and here it is!

(I had no idea of just what market the Tit-bits magazine was aimed at until I read that Wikipædia link and it made me wonder at how popular journalism has changed over the years.  Personally-speaking I wouldn't read the likes of The Daily Mail or The Sun today but looking back at the contents of this book and also copies of early "tabloids" like The Daily Sketch it's strange to see how tame and yet interesting the contents are compared to now and I can't help thinking about how some innocence and decorum has maybe been lost in the last 80 years.  Or perhaps I'm looking at the whole thing through sepia-tinted glasses and our newspapers and annuals will be seen in the same way by historians in 2091?)

Anyway, I said I'd fashion a few blog posts out of it and I'm a man of my word, so here's the first comprising the section on etiquette.  A lot of it, while perhaps slightly obvious (although maybe only to the likes of us!) could, ideally(!), still hold true today.   Some of it, however, less so.  In any case, I think you'll enjoy it.

ETIQUETTE

Etiquette is not a matter of hard and fast rules, and although we have evolved a number of accepted laws, they can be broken with impunity when common sense demands.  Good manners can be summarized as putting another person's comfort - not only comfort of body but comfort of mind - before your own.  {hear hear!}  If all the writers of etiquette books have told you that you should treat every woman as a duchess, and you meet a dear, homely soul who would think such treatment a practical joke on your part and not good taste, base your conduct on your own good sense.

Here are one or two points which are worth remembering as they may help to make the wheels of social intercourse run smoothly:

• A gentleman is always introduced to a lady, not the lady to the gentleman.  Single girls are introduced to married women, and young men to older men.

• When walking with a lady, do not offer her your arm unless it is necessary to help her across a thoroughfare; walking arm in arm is inconvenient to other pedestrians and often results in the lady being brushed and bumped by passers-by.

• If you meet a lady and wish to speak to her, do not detain her, but walk with her for a short distance in the direction in which she is going, and remember always to walk on the side of the pavement nearest the kerb.  This last applies when walking with two ladies.

When Dancing

The etiquette of the dance hall has changed enormously of late years, and practically every one of the old rules has been scrapped.

It is usual nowadays to take a partner to a public dance and remain in her company the whole evening.  If you do not take a partner, you are, of course, at liberty to ask any member of the opposite sex for the pleasure of a dance, introductions or the good offices of the M.C. being dispensed with nowadays.

If your request is refused - and there is, by the way, no reason to feel snubbed, for the girl may be engaged for the dance, or is feeling tired - do not ask another girl sitting nearby, as to do so would make the first girl feel that you did not care whether you danced with her or not!

After each dance you should escort your partner to her seat, and remain with her for a few seconds, or until her next partner puts in an appearance.

Elaborate steps and "stunts" are permissible if your partner can do them, and providing that they do not inconvenience other dancers, but to "show off" in any circumstances is very bad form.

When the interval dance is over, and you have no appointment for refreshments with another partner, you should ask your partner if you can take her to the refreshment-room.  If she has a party of friends present - and few girls go to dances alone - she will probably decline your invitation, but she will appreciate your kindly thought.

If she does accept, be sure to escort her back to the dance floor when the interval is over.

You should not, if you take a partner with you, ask any one for a dance unless your friend has a partner, or unless she herself asks you to dance with another. 

At Private Dances

At private dances it is not quite the thing to have every dance with the same partner, for, obviously, it is not being sociable, but, if you are asked to bring a friend, you should see that she is not neglected.  You must, of course, reserve the interval dance for her and take her down to supper.

Be sure to ask your hostess for a dance, and, on leaving, do not omit to thank her for your evening's enjoyment.

Do not ask a lady you do not know for a dance, but seek the good offices of a friend or your hostess for an introduction.

Dining out

To most of us our first experience of dining out, whether at a public function or at a private house, is anticipated with dread rather than with pleasure.

The golden rule is:  Don't be nervous.  If you do have the misfortune to make a slip, remember that it will probably pass unnoticed unless you call attention to it by your own embarrassment.

Knives, forks, and spoons are laid in the order in which they are to be used, beginning with those on the "outside", and, as waiters serve wine, and naturally know the correct glasses, these need have no terrors.

If you do not like wine or mineral waters, ask to be served with plain water; this is quite the usual thing, and no one will think you namby-pamby.

You can talk to the guests on either side of you without the formality of introductions.

Men sit on their partner's left hand, and, when going in to dinner, should offer the right arm to the lady they have been asked to escort.

At a public dinner remain by your chair until the chairman sits, and, at a private dinner party, until your hostess is seated.

Do not smoke until your host invites you to do so.

At public functions smoking is generally allowed after the toast of the King has been drunk.

Dress

As to dress, the old rule that full evening dress must be worn when ladies are present has fallen into disuse, except in the case of very formal dinners and balls.

The dinner jacket can be worn at nearly every function where "dress" is required nowadays - at supper dances, informal dinners, public dances, the circle or stalls of the theatre, and so on.

A white wing collar and stiff shirt and black bow and waistcoat are worn with the dinner jacket.  Socks must be black, the handkerchief white linen or lawn, and the shoes patent leather (they should be of the "lace up" variety; "pumps" are very old fashioned).

With the more formal dress or "tail" coat, white waistcoat and bow are worn.

Bows must be hand tied. {quite right!}

For business wear, "morning dress", i.e. black jacket and vest and striped cashmere trousers are strictly correct, but none of us wish to appear at the office in the same uniform garments year in and year out, and so a lounge suit is worn by way of variation.

There are, however, one or two little points to watch even in less formal dressing:  Do not wear a soft collar with morning dress, but either a wing collar or a smart double collar, and a neat tie or hand-tied bow.

Black patent leather shoes are quite in keeping.  Brown shoes, in this connection, are right out of the question.

The secret to good dressing is suitability to the occasion on which clothes are worn.  It would, for instance, be obviously silly to wear a bowler hat with white flannels - an exaggerated combination which no one would think of wearing, yet, in smaller points, one sees such incongruities, spats worn with a flannel suit, gloves with a blazer, and so on.

Letter-writing

Letter-writing, simple as it would seem, is beset with pitfalls for the unwary.

The best rule is to say what you mean in the fewest possible words.

Do not use long-winded and grandiloquent phrases which can be better expressed in a couple of words.

The old business houses had a stereotyped beginning for all their letters, "We beg to acknowledge receipt of your esteemed favour."  Nowadays, however, we begin, "Thank you for your letter," which means the same, is quite simple, and saves a lot of time.

Some people imagine that stilted phrases mark them as being business-like, whereas, of course, the unfortunate person who receives the letter has to waste a lot of time unravelling verbal knots.

All business letters can begin "Dear Sir, or Sirs," and end "Yours faithfully".

There is no need to assure any one that you are their obedient servant - they probably would not believe it in any case!

For more intimate correspondence, "Dear So-and-So" is the usual beginning, and "Yours truly" or "Yours sincerely" a suitable ending.

100 up!

I'm pleased to say that this very post marks my one hundredth such epistle since I first dipped my æthereal toe in the then-murky waters of blogdom back in November 2009.

As I recall I jocularly predicted at the time that this blog would either set the Internet alight with wonder and brilliance or else sink without a trace in less than month.

Well I am pleased to say that the latter instance did not occur and I am still here 7 months later blogging away happily, having very definitely caught the bug. Total World-Wide-Webbular domination is not yet on the cards though, I'm afraid!

When I set out to start this blog I wisely kept to something straightforward that even a semi IT-literate amateur such as myself could maintain and I'm pleased to see it working so well. I always felt that there was the opportunity for a chronicle of cheery, interesting and [predominately] vintage-related news items and such has proven to be the case. I have also had my eyes opened to a whole new world of like-minded blogs, events, and people that I may never have otherwise come across, so it has all been most definitely worth it.

I must extend my gratitude to the news sites I get the stories from, particularly The Daily Telegraph and the BBC - without them I almost certainly wouldn't have a blog. Last but by no means least I would like to thank the 8 people (so far - there's plenty of room for more!) who have taken the time to follow my random postings - thank you for making me feel like I'm actually passing on stories over the wires rather than just rambling away to myself in vain.

Here's to the next 100 posts and many more besides; I hope that you will continue to read with me all the amusing, light-hearted and interesting articles that are still to come.

Dorset man claims to be world's oldest paperboy

Dorset man claims to be world's oldest paperboy

On now to a delightful article about one chap's life-long enjoyment of a simple profession. Indeed it could be said to have long ago ceased to be a profession and instead taken on all the hallmarks of a beloved hobby. Here is a man who has been delivering newspapers to probably generations of people in his village. He is an institution in the very best sense of the word. It is always nice see someone take so much pleasure in something that they continue to do it for almost their entire life. One wonders how much such relishing of a past-time goes in keeping the person healthy and active well into their old age. Good luck to the gentleman, say I, and I hope he fulfils his wish of delivering 'papers for years to come.